comfortable with uncomfortable
Hi all, Jacob Abraham Foundation Counsellor Rosalyn here. I want to share this blog with you I have written and I’m calling it ‘comfortable with uncomfortable’ after being inspired by a current community project with the same title.
The last 15 months will always be remembered, when our lives changed as we knew them. Every one of us will have been impacted by the Pandemic in one way or another.
We have all heard the term 'social distancing' we've been separated from friends, family, colleagues. I want to emphasize on the 'social' part of this term. For me really it has been about 'physical' distancing. To follow the guidelines, we never had to stop being 'social' we just had to adapt. A lot of us went online, talking and connecting with friends, families, colleagues over video and the telephone.
Despite having these online connections there seems to have been a disconnect. I've felt it you may have felt it too. For me this disconnect is the comfortable with uncomfortable. It's the real meaningful conversations we can have with other another whether online or offline. Were we having these conversations before the pandemic?
It's about not just asking someone how they are and taking that “yeah, I'm fine” or that “I'm okay” but really asking how are you? really meaning it. How are you feeling? Practice it on yourself - check in with how you are feeling is it just okay? or fine? or is it deeper than that? Do you feel sad, happy, angry scared and why? We've all got feelings, it's okay to not be okay but it's okay to be okay too.
It starts with you. Get yourself in tune with your feelings. Get comfortable with uncomfortable. Utilise your support networks. If you feel down one day reach out and tell someone. if you feel like there is no one around you to tell, well there is always someone waiting to listen. You can call a helpline, they have great people who are out there ready to listen to you, helplines such as Samaritans – 116 123, C.A.L.L.- 0800132737 and SHOUT – text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258.
You don’t even have to say much they are there to talk and even just listen if that's what you need.
If you feel okay yourself you can still get comfortable with uncomfortable.. you can reach out to a friend that's been a bit quiet, the friend who hasn't wanted to go for a walk, coffee, a pint. Ask them how they are doing, share how you are doing, it could be that you’re feeling okay now but you haven't always felt okay. Open up the conversation. Get comfortable with uncomfortable it might help them do that too.
So, what do we do with this disconnect now that we are allowed to go back out into the world and socialise in person once again - at a distance (for now). Well, I will tell you what we can do. We can adapt. We have done it before we can do it again.
When the pandemic started, I thought to myself how on earth will I work from home, take my practice online. How will I build the relationship with my clients at a 'physical' distance, behind a computer screen.. on the other end of the telephone. How will the relationship work.. how will the therapy work? But I can tell you now and I'm sure many of my clients would say the same. It works. We can adapt, we can work together physically distant but not socially. We can connect online just like we can connect in person. So that thing you think you can't do? You can do it. Your strong, your adaptable.. you've been through a lot. We have a shared experience in this, you, I, your colleagues, friends, family. The people you walk past on the street, the barista that serves you your coffee, the cashier that scans your shopping.
The pandemic has resulted in increased loneliness and depression, within the first month of the pandemic the equivalent of 7.4 million people in Great Britain said their well-being was affected through feeling lonely. These people were more likely than others to be struggling to find things to help them cope and were also less likely to feel they had support networks to fall back on. - (Dawn Snape, Assistant Director of Sustainability and inequalities Division, ONS, 2020) -
So let’s do our bit to change this. We have washed our hands more than ever before, some of us have lost jobs, some of us have transitioned to working from home. Some of us have lost loved ones. Let's not lose connection too... let's gain connection start a conversation... a real meaningful one... get comfortable with uncomfortable... you could help to save a life.